What a weird time to be alive.

For me, the timing of this pandemic hitting is both poor and not-so-poor. I took 2 months off to travel around the South Island of New Zealand and to think about my life some. With more air in my sails, I flew home to pick up where I left off…

…and the country went into lock-down.

Despite anxiety about vulnerable family members, I am lucky to be financially and psychologically appreciating the opportunity for more ‘me-time’. I know some will be in the same boat.

And many of us won’t.

24/7 child care. Mortgage. Unemployment. A business on the rocks. COVID-19 itself. These things would be harrowing if it were just one of them!

But the elephant in the room is the ‘being isolated’ part – with little to distract us from the rising tide of thoughts and feelings.

Anxiety about all of the above. Or deeper stuff we might not have felt for years. That we might not have even allowed ourselves to entertain. You might just be extroverted or away from(/stuck with) someone special and frustrated to Kingdom Come.

This could be the single-biggest ordeal some of us face in a lifetime and that’s okay.

Anxiety is the appropriate response here.

We spend a lot of time, don’t we, glorifying our more independent friends, celebrities and Marvel Pin-ups?

“You shouldn’t need external factors, go within for true happiness”

“Well it sounds to me like they just haven’t learnt to be alone yet”

“Maybe you should take some time out to work on you”

I say this stuff all the time. But what the deuce does independence have to do with the core of being human!? Very little.

We ain’t nothing but social mammals,

You and me baby,

So let’s self-care like they do on the Recovery Channel.

Here are 8 apps and activities to help build a routine in this time of No More Mingling

1. Start with your body

You’ve got up.

You’ve made your bed.

Those two can be huge. Kudos!

Make your next task (before phone, emails or food) something for your body.

Doesn’t really matter what.

Yoga. Breathwork. Cold Water. Jump Jam!

Now you’re primed and the other stuff doesn’t seem so out of reach.

Geddit!

2. Meditate

With so many storm clouds on the horizon, it’s never been more important to ground ourselves in the now – our immediate experience.

How on God’s Green Earth will I manage that then?

I present to you Insight Timer

No less than the world’s most used, most sexy and most free Meditation App

A great alternative to the Calm or Headspace apps (amazing for a fee), Insight Timer has a veritable feast – literally tens of thousands – of high-quality meditations from the world’s leading instructors. Something I love is you can reach out to other users taking the same session afterwards: your very own meditator’s bubble!

3. Talk about your dreams some

This is where things get pritty freaky Bowie but study this quote as you bear with me

“Dream Journaling is like free therapy”
– Albert Einstein

Dreams are like the imaginative lovechild of the unconscious mind. And just like in the film Inception, they can reveal to us A LOT about our hopes, fears and dreams.

Have I reeled you in? There are two routes:

GROUP

As a family or with partners/flatties (this may be confronting af but is powerful), take turns to share a dream you had from the night before.

Crazy. Vulnerable. As you are.

Give each person a moment to cover the details, their interpretation, then (if comfy) open the floor for reflections. You never know what someone might notice that you’ve missed. Be kind. Be attentive. And finish up by asking the person what they’re taking away and how you can help with it.

The conversations that result are better than drugs!

SOLO

Write ’em on out! Then break down any meanings as they occur to you and actions you will take to address them.

If you’re not Leo DiCaprio with the right Dream Gizmo, you probably won’t remember them too well to start. Get in the habit of writing them down first thing when you wake.

You will be running through revolving corridors before you can say ‘plot hole’!

Remember: There is no such thing as ‘just a dream’. Try not to focus on the specific form of the story but the themes beneath it. Some to look out for at this time will be well…isolation, grief, frustration, worry (for self and others) and hopefully, the next Hollywood screenplay.

P.S. You are dreamy, friend.

4. Practice gratitude (You’ll thank yourself)

Positive Psychology recently found what religions have known all along: It’s good for us to take stock of what we’ve got.

Make a list or do a share-circle if you haven’t already put each other off with your dreams. It can – and should – be as simple as ‘a roof over my head’ or ‘to be in a nation that can afford to lock-down’. If you suck at it to start, start with the one thing only! Tomorrow, you do two. Keep in mind that the more you use it, the stronger the gratitude muscle becomes.

P.S. Somebody is grateful for you, too!

5. Set goals, no matter the size…

We won’t have the most seductive things in the world to accomplish right now.

Build a veggie patch. Feed mouth(s). Replace the tiling. Mop.

Write ’em down and visualize them going well. But why stop there?

Was there a language you wanted to learn (or teach)? A hobby that fell between the shifting cracks of parenthood and a 60 hour work week? Maybe there’s been someone on your heart who will not be coping with all of this. Call them. Tell them what they mean to you.

Write something fictional. Paint a scene from it. And share the whole thing in a video blog if you are comfy with your noggin on a screen.

Or keep it simple.

What’s for tea? Do I need more toilet paper?

What do I need to do to stay alive, connected and healthy?

P.S. Your noggin is wonderful.

6. Do something creative first, and something admin-y later.

Mornings are for renovation projects, painting with kids and Corona video-blogs

Afternoons are emails, catching up with friends and cleaning up

Your brain will thank you for it.

7. Finish with a recap

Journal what happened today. Basic as.

Which of your goals did you achieve? What are you glad happened? What would you do differently?

It is the sleeping pill you didn’t know existed

8. You don’t have to cope alone, so don’t!

If you’re in New Zealand, Lifeline is available free and 24/7 throughout Lockdown:

Freephone 0800 543 354 (or text ‘HELP’ to 4357)

Even if you don’t think you’re quite at that point, call and spin them a yarn for 10 minutes. They would love to hear from you. I can tell you the biggest regret most people have about Lifeline is not dialing the number sooner.

If you are after something ongoing, Betterhelp provide a one-week free trial of counseling then $45 US/week after that. Video-calls, message chats, phone – you do you.

And I think everyone would get behind me in saying now is good

As seen in memes everywhere, this is the pause the earth probably needed but it could be the reset we were after too.

And like the many pandemics that came before it, this too shall pass.

Stay safe. Stay home. Stay in touch.